8 reasons i couldn’t stay:
you weren’t ready to dance when I was.
you let my hand go in the essence of a mosh pit
and I've been lost since.
you fell asleep on the couch
comfortably, book in hand
while i was broken on the bathroom floor
asking god to take me.
you would have let him take me.
you loved me the way your
dad loved your mom,
but i no longer accept
men with conditional traits.
I continued loving,
you continued lusting
over people who were not me.
I was made with spiritual glitter
and faithful glue, i was given
wings you tried to cut
and a voice you tried to silence.
you left scars on me that will never let me forget
what love isn’t.
you thought i’d stick around
until i figured out how beautiful we could have been.
but i planted scriptures in your palm that
no one else could understand.
and now they wonder why i left a mark on you,
so stunning, so soft
and why i’m nowhere to be found.
roses don’t have an ego, you do.
memories came flooding out of a half drained vase;
an unrequited love.
the porcelain that once held those flowers
after all, roses don’t have an ego,
visions i didn’t know my body kept tucked
far away came back,
asking where you went
I don’t know what to tell them.
you ran away
then ran right back at me.
fast was never my pace.
I started to trip on your mind before
I saw the dark spikes you kept
outside your front door.
electric shocks have become our greeting.
still, i can hear you asking me to sing
but you forgot that i lost my voice
the day after we met.
yelling has a strain,
have you forgotten that too?
(how do you tell someone you’ve seen their heart change colours?)
you left love notes in the attic,
tucked behind boxes i turned into a studio.
a practise, a past-time, a once was.
we never believed in the same things.
we never needed to.
you understood money
but i was too rich to care.
you’ll never understand
wealth of the mind,
just like i’ll never understand you.
you told me to come back,
but i finally
found my voice
under a box full of broken petals.
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